Rut: A habit or pattern of behaviour that has become dull and unproductive but is hard to change (Oxford Dictionary).
And just like that, I found myself in a rut. How does this even happen? We all go on with our daily routines, checking boxes, feeling accomplished, and ready to conquer what life may bring our way. But sometimes that becomes stale. At least it does for me. This was not boredom, instead I knew I was seeking something. But what? Even in an attempt to change things up or break the monotony I still found myself right back where I started. I tried to pinpoint the exact reason that everything felt so mechanical in my life, but I just couldn’t figure it out. Everything in my world was going well. Even beyond well; things were excellent. So what was the problem? I certainly wasn’t unhappy, but something was missing.
I am not content being content.
For me, being in a rut is not a bad thing. It is quite the opposite; I see it as the universe, our intuition, whatever you would like that the be, telling us something. Nudging us to acknowledge that we are not meeting our full potential. That there is something out there we should be exploring, seeking, learning. That our daily boundaries are now limiting us, so it is time to do more.
Usually when this happens I turn to what I know best: writing. I have kept a journal since I was in the third grade. It was my precious diary, and it even came with a little lock and key. I wrote in my diary almost everyday and even at that young age I understood the importance of reflection. So there it was: time to reflect.
After writing in my super adult “All I Need is Mascara and Coffee” hardcover, this is so cute I have to buy it, journal, consistently, for a few weeks I felt better. I felt like I needed something new that was specifically mine. Something that challenged me and stretched me beyond the everyday. And that something became yoga.
When I was in Seattle with my cousin, she encouraged me to take yoga when I returned to Austin. I briefly considered the idea and then as the weeks passed, life went back to business as usual. The idea resurfaced again over dinner with a close friend. I was sharing my frustration of “something missing” in my life and she, too, suggested yoga. Still, I was just unsure. Yoga seems to be so “trendy” at the moment, and that was not what I was seeking, at all.
After a few weeks of contemplation I decided to just. sign. up.
Three hours each week, I have something that is uniquely mine. It is such an interesting experience to be in a room with others but completely focused on yourself. Your goals. Your needs. It is not selfish to push yourself beyond your daily boundaries. It is not selfish to take time for yourself. It is not selfish to become a better version of yourself I think everyone gets into a rut at some point, but for me it’s a time to listen. What am I supposed to get out of this situation? I am always hesitant to try new things. To be uncomfortable. So here I am-testing my boundaries. This is not solely about yoga, but instead about me pushing myself to step out of my slightly narrow comfort zone. It is not easy, but it is necessary because self-improvement is always the goal.
Yoga: 1 Rut: 0